how i went rogue

Maybe you, too, grew up learning to be a "good girl"—the polite daughter, the hardworking employee, the woman who doesn’t take up too much space. Maybe you were told that if you play by the rules, things will fall into place.

I know I was.

Raised by a French mother, I absorbed a particular set of beliefs about femininity, culture, and success. I was taught to be elegant, well-mannered, and presentable—but never too loud. I learned that beauty was currency and that a woman’s role was to be accommodating.

Yet, I also saw contradictions. My mother, despite her fixation on appearances, was quietly rebellious—escaping an unwanted engagement and forging her own path in Canada. My Parisian godmother, Josette, ran the household and managed the finances.

I struggled with these conflicting messages. Was femininity a form of power—or a trap? Could I be strong and ambitious while embracing "feminine" traits? Good girl messaging clashed with who I am—I’ve always leaned toward leadership and using my voice. If you want to read my Medium blog post about this, click here.

Chasing prestige, not my inner power

I spent years in consulting, advising top executives and managing large-scale transformations at the UN, Deutsche Bank, UBS, Zeiss, and the U.S. Senate. My work was high-stakes and impactful.

Yet, despite all my achievements, I kept chasing external validation—believing success came from titles, prestige, and approval.

I co-created a women’s community on personal finance and investing, helping women own their financial power. I believed in women-only spaces, yet I was still missing something. Even as I taught women to take control of their money, I wasn’t fully tapping into my own power.

That realization hit during my Executive Master in Coaching and Change Management. For the first time, I was forced to stop proving myself and start examining myself. Through radical self-inquiry, I saw my own patterns—the ways I played small, waited for approval, and let others dictate my worth.

It was eye-opening. But self-awareness alone isn’t enough. While I understood my patterns, it still took years to fully break them. Unlearning “good girl” behaviors is a process, not a switch you flip.

at 48, i perceive things differently

Now that I am 48, I unearth how seeking validation held me back. I see my mistakes—staying too long in the wrong roles, shrinking myself, waiting for men to give me permission to play big.

But I also realized that it’s never too late to rewrite your story. After decades in consulting, startups, and transformation management, I’ve internalized one thing:
Waiting for approval is a waste of time.
You don’t need permission to take up space. You make the rules.